Happylilcamgirl represents the webcam model formerly known as Helena73 and my partner The Scientist. Both of our pronouns are she/he/they. The gender binary is not real to us.
We play pretend as a young cis-hetero couple in the 1950’s as a satire of what our parents think we should be. Off camera our gender is hella bent; Helena is called Mister Man, Master, or Daddy whereas The Scientist is called Pretty Princess or Mistress Scientist. After many years of nerve-wracking dysphoria, we are comfortable with our queer selves together.
The Scientist is a wind instrumentalist who likes electronic music and jazz. Helena is a string instrumentalist and classically trained vocalist [bari-tenor range].
I started camming because I had been crying every single time I masturbated for years. I did it on webcam later because I wanted to include someone else in the experience. I was fascinated by the performances of my favorite webcam models so I stayed with camming for the friendships and entertainment. Now I only cry when masturbating feels really good.
I am a FTM (female-to-male aka assigned female at birth) trans person. I knew something was different about my perception of gender as a pre-teen and I only bought boys’ and men’s clothing through high school. My parents rejected me. As soon as I turned eighteen, I began the process to acquire hormone replacement therapy (HRT) at the Howard Brown Health Center in Chicago. I took testosterone via injections into my thighs and butt muscles- yes, I did inject myself most of the time.
I chose to detransition because I felt comfortable doing so. My agonizing gender dysphoria alleviated and because of the hardship I experienced when my family rejected me, detransitioning was convenient for survival. The best thing about being who I am today is that I’m no longer breaking my ribs from binding my chest to look flat. I have cancelled my plans to have reconstructive surgery. Testosterone has permanently affected me and I love it. I still have the prosthetic penis I bought when I was 14 and I still wear it for comfort. I have a great relationship with my dad and I no longer fret about wanting to be his son- I ‘m just his kid now.
I’m thankful for all of the events of my life and I am so blessed by my supporters from camming who define me by the content of my character.